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Your emotional credit score now determines who you can date

June 12, 2026

Linkedin now tracks your “offline hours” as a leadership metric

May 23, 2026

You can now trade your student debt for a teaching certificate

May 13, 2026

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  • Home
  • Internet Absurdity

    Linkedin now tracks your “offline hours” as a leadership metric

    May 23, 2026

    Linkedin launches “performative adulthood” certification

    April 17, 2026

    Millennials can now rent “life milestones” for social media

    March 9, 2026

    Meta launches “bipartisan mode” that deletes your opinions

    February 19, 2026

    Tiktok introduces “emotional age” verification for sad videos

    February 11, 2026
  • Breaking Satire

    Your emotional credit score now determines who you can date

    June 12, 2026

    Water credits are the new credit score

    May 8, 2026

    Pentagon patents “climate grief” as national security threat

    February 13, 2026

    Us launches democracy-as-a-service for global clients

    February 6, 2026

    Congress passes fresh start act to erase 2026 mistakes

    January 6, 2026
  • Satirical Science

    You can now trade your student debt for a teaching certificate

    May 13, 2026

    Therapists prescribe “fake stability” as coping mechanism

    March 17, 2026

    Scientists confirm new year’s eve is just capitalism in a top hat

    January 21, 2026

    Harvard offers degree in emotional detachment

    December 8, 2025

    Whole foods launches $40 silence for inner peace

    November 22, 2025
  • Viral Culture

    Landlords offer “emotional lease agreements” instead of apartments

    April 5, 2026

    “Adulting” now requires a government-issued license

    March 4, 2026

    Whole foods sells reset ritual kit for january 2nd only

    January 16, 2026

    Family holiday dinner now requires emotional pre-approval

    December 29, 2025

    Zara drops quiet despair collection in beige regret

    November 24, 2025
  • AI & Tech

    Your AI just faked your sick day (and cried for you)

    May 1, 2026

    Parents can now outsource “raising adults” to ai nannies

    April 22, 2026

    Us blocks ai from saying “empire” in history lessons

    February 23, 2026

    Your ai freelancer just underbid you on fiverr

    January 27, 2026

    AI generates your 2026 resolutions based on 2025 failures

    December 17, 2025
  • Games

    Nfl adds “quiet despair” uniforms for off-season games

    February 26, 2026

    Nba players now paid in “fan engagement tokens”

    February 16, 2026

    Olympics now offers “artificial snow insurance” for fans

    February 8, 2026

    Fifa mandates all players wear nft cleats by 2026

    February 1, 2026

    IOC sells carbon offsets for your olympic guilt

    January 24, 2026
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Home » Blog
Breaking Satire

Boss demands gratitude report before year-end bonus

Miles CorbinDecember 19, 2025

Your year-end bonus just got a prerequisite: **a notarized “Gratitude Report.”** In a move that blends holiday cheer with corporate…

AI & Tech

AI generates your 2026 resolutions based on 2025 failures

Miles CorbinDecember 17, 2025

Your New Year’s resolutions just got an upgrade—for a fee. A new app, ResoMind AI, now uses your 2025 data—failed…

Internet Absurdity

Amazon sells regret returns insurance for holiday gifts

Miles CorbinDecember 10, 2025

Your holiday generosity just got a safety net—for a fee. Amazon has quietly launched **“Regret Returns Insurance”**, a $19.99 add-on…

Satirical Science

Harvard offers degree in emotional detachment

Miles CorbinDecember 8, 2025

Harvard doesn’t just teach you to think anymore—it teaches you not to feel, react, or care. The university has quietly…

AI & Tech

NYC installs eye contact fines to reduce social pressure

Miles CorbinDecember 5, 2025

New York City no longer just avoids eye contact—it fines you for it. In a move that blends dystopian theater…

AI & Tech

New iphone listens to thoughts charges extra for feedback

Miles CorbinDecember 1, 2025

Your thoughts are no longer free. Apple’s latest iPhone doesn’t just listen when you say “Hey Siri.” Thanks to **Neural…

Internet Absurdity

Netflix releases ambient regret channel for exes

Miles CorbinNovember 28, 2025

Heartbreak no longer requires reflection. Thanks to Netflix, it now requires only a subscription. The streaming giant has quietly launched…

Viral Culture

Zara drops quiet despair collection in beige regret

Miles CorbinNovember 24, 2025

Zara doesn’t just sell clothes anymore—it sells the curated look of emotional surrender. The fast-fashion giant has launched its new…

Satirical Science

Whole foods launches $40 silence for inner peace

Miles CorbinNovember 22, 2025

Whole Foods doesn’t just sell groceries anymore—it sells the absence of sound. The retailer has quietly launched **“Silence”**—a premium wellness…

AI & Tech

AI promoted over human after writing boss’s speech

Miles CorbinNovember 8, 2025

It wasn’t a typo. It wasn’t a glitch. It was a promotion. In a move that stunned no one but…

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Breaking Satire

Your emotional credit score now determines who you can date

Miles CorbinJune 12, 2026

Your capacity to love just got a FICO rating. Major dating apps—Hinge, Bumble, and even…

Linkedin now tracks your “offline hours” as a leadership metric

May 23, 2026

You can now trade your student debt for a teaching certificate

May 13, 2026

Water credits are the new credit score

May 8, 2026
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Your emotional credit score now determines who you can date

June 12, 2026

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Your AI Boyfriend Just Invoiced You for Caring Hollywood est à court d’idées : The Mummy 18 arrive