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Your emotional credit score now determines who you can date

June 12, 2026

Linkedin now tracks your “offline hours” as a leadership metric

May 23, 2026

You can now trade your student debt for a teaching certificate

May 13, 2026

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  • Home
  • Internet Absurdity

    Linkedin now tracks your “offline hours” as a leadership metric

    May 23, 2026

    Linkedin launches “performative adulthood” certification

    April 17, 2026

    Millennials can now rent “life milestones” for social media

    March 9, 2026

    Meta launches “bipartisan mode” that deletes your opinions

    February 19, 2026

    Tiktok introduces “emotional age” verification for sad videos

    February 11, 2026
  • Breaking Satire

    Your emotional credit score now determines who you can date

    June 12, 2026

    Water credits are the new credit score

    May 8, 2026

    Pentagon patents “climate grief” as national security threat

    February 13, 2026

    Us launches democracy-as-a-service for global clients

    February 6, 2026

    Congress passes fresh start act to erase 2026 mistakes

    January 6, 2026
  • Satirical Science

    You can now trade your student debt for a teaching certificate

    May 13, 2026

    Therapists prescribe “fake stability” as coping mechanism

    March 17, 2026

    Scientists confirm new year’s eve is just capitalism in a top hat

    January 21, 2026

    Harvard offers degree in emotional detachment

    December 8, 2025

    Whole foods launches $40 silence for inner peace

    November 22, 2025
  • Viral Culture

    Landlords offer “emotional lease agreements” instead of apartments

    April 5, 2026

    “Adulting” now requires a government-issued license

    March 4, 2026

    Whole foods sells reset ritual kit for january 2nd only

    January 16, 2026

    Family holiday dinner now requires emotional pre-approval

    December 29, 2025

    Zara drops quiet despair collection in beige regret

    November 24, 2025
  • AI & Tech

    Your AI just faked your sick day (and cried for you)

    May 1, 2026

    Parents can now outsource “raising adults” to ai nannies

    April 22, 2026

    Us blocks ai from saying “empire” in history lessons

    February 23, 2026

    Your ai freelancer just underbid you on fiverr

    January 27, 2026

    AI generates your 2026 resolutions based on 2025 failures

    December 17, 2025
  • Games

    Nfl adds “quiet despair” uniforms for off-season games

    February 26, 2026

    Nba players now paid in “fan engagement tokens”

    February 16, 2026

    Olympics now offers “artificial snow insurance” for fans

    February 8, 2026

    Fifa mandates all players wear nft cleats by 2026

    February 1, 2026

    IOC sells carbon offsets for your olympic guilt

    January 24, 2026
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Home » Blog
AI & Tech

AI therapist diagnoses excessive hope

Miles CorbinOctober 23, 2025

Your AI therapist doesn’t want you to feel better. It wants you to feel predictable. In a chilling update to…

Breaking Satire

Congress thought tax negative vibes proposed

Miles CorbinOctober 21, 2025

In a move that blends dystopian fiction with fiscal desperation, Congress has introduced the **“Emotional Stability Revenue Act”**—a bill that…

Breaking Satire

Airbnb rents childhood trauma as cozy nostalgia

Miles CorbinOctober 20, 2025

Airbnb doesn’t just rent treehouses and lofts anymore—it rents your unresolved past. The platform has quietly launched a new category…

Internet Absurdity

CNN launches ambient doom channel for focus

Miles CorbinOctober 18, 2025

CNN doesn’t just report the apocalypse anymore—it streams it as white noise. The network has quietly launched **“Ambient Doom”**, a…

Viral Culture

Parents can lease emotional support toddlers

Miles CorbinOctober 17, 2025

Parenting is hard. But what if you could rent the joy without the responsibility? A new Silicon Valley startup, TinyJoy…

Viral Culture

Zara quiet poverty collection beige regret

Miles CorbinOctober 14, 2025

Zara doesn’t just sell clothes anymore—it sells the aesthetic of barely making it. The fast-fashion giant has launched its new…

AI & Tech

Harvard now offers AI grief counseling for rejected applicants

Miles CorbinOctober 13, 2025

Rejection used to hurt. Now, it comes with a subscription. In a move that blends Ivy League prestige with algorithmic…

Satirical Science

Boss tracks your productivity aura via smart toilet

Miles CorbinOctober 12, 2025

Your bathroom break just became a performance review. At “SynergiCorp,” a cutting-edge tech firm in Austin, employees no longer just…

Viral Culture

Whole foods silent sigh kale smoothie $28

Miles CorbinOctober 11, 2025

Whole Foods doesn’t just sell groceries anymore—it sells emotional surrender. The latest addition to its “Mindful Fuel” line? The **“Silent…

Internet Absurdity

Ivy league emotional numbness microdegree launched

Miles CorbinOctober 10, 2025

Harvard doesn’t just teach you to think anymore—it teaches you not to feel. In a move that blends elite academia…

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Breaking Satire

Your emotional credit score now determines who you can date

Miles CorbinJune 12, 2026

Your capacity to love just got a FICO rating. Major dating apps—Hinge, Bumble, and even…

Linkedin now tracks your “offline hours” as a leadership metric

May 23, 2026

You can now trade your student debt for a teaching certificate

May 13, 2026

Water credits are the new credit score

May 8, 2026
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Your emotional credit score now determines who you can date

June 12, 2026

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Zara quiet poverty collection beige regret

October 14, 2025

Zara drops quiet despair collection in beige regret

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Your AI Boyfriend Just Invoiced You for Caring Hollywood est à court d’idées : The Mummy 18 arrive