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Water credits are the new credit score

May 8, 2026

Your AI just faked your sick day (and cried for you)

May 1, 2026

Parents can now outsource “raising adults” to ai nannies

April 22, 2026

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  • Home
  • Internet Absurdity

    Linkedin launches “performative adulthood” certification

    April 17, 2026

    Millennials can now rent “life milestones” for social media

    March 9, 2026

    Meta launches “bipartisan mode” that deletes your opinions

    February 19, 2026

    Tiktok introduces “emotional age” verification for sad videos

    February 11, 2026

    Google removes “truth” from search results to reduce conflict

    February 4, 2026
  • Breaking Satire

    Water credits are the new credit score

    May 8, 2026

    Pentagon patents “climate grief” as national security threat

    February 13, 2026

    Us launches democracy-as-a-service for global clients

    February 6, 2026

    Congress passes fresh start act to erase 2026 mistakes

    January 6, 2026

    Banks charge hope tax on new year’s eve transfers

    January 1, 2026
  • Satirical Science

    Therapists prescribe “fake stability” as coping mechanism

    March 17, 2026

    Scientists confirm new year’s eve is just capitalism in a top hat

    January 21, 2026

    Harvard offers degree in emotional detachment

    December 8, 2025

    Whole foods launches $40 silence for inner peace

    November 22, 2025

    Starbucks launches silent sip coffee for socially anxious

    October 25, 2025
  • Viral Culture

    Landlords offer “emotional lease agreements” instead of apartments

    April 5, 2026

    “Adulting” now requires a government-issued license

    March 4, 2026

    Whole foods sells reset ritual kit for january 2nd only

    January 16, 2026

    Family holiday dinner now requires emotional pre-approval

    December 29, 2025

    Zara drops quiet despair collection in beige regret

    November 24, 2025
  • AI & Tech

    Your AI just faked your sick day (and cried for you)

    May 1, 2026

    Parents can now outsource “raising adults” to ai nannies

    April 22, 2026

    Us blocks ai from saying “empire” in history lessons

    February 23, 2026

    Your ai freelancer just underbid you on fiverr

    January 27, 2026

    AI generates your 2026 resolutions based on 2025 failures

    December 17, 2025
  • Games

    Nfl adds “quiet despair” uniforms for off-season games

    February 26, 2026

    Nba players now paid in “fan engagement tokens”

    February 16, 2026

    Olympics now offers “artificial snow insurance” for fans

    February 8, 2026

    Fifa mandates all players wear nft cleats by 2026

    February 1, 2026

    IOC sells carbon offsets for your olympic guilt

    January 24, 2026
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Home » Blog
Internet Absurdity

Google calendar now blocks unproductive emotions

Miles CorbinNovember 2, 2025

Your grief doesn’t fit in the schedule. At least, not according to Google. In a move that blends algorithmic overreach…

Viral Culture

H&M drops quiet bankruptcy collection in gray denial

Miles CorbinOctober 30, 2025

H&M doesn’t just sell fast fashion anymore—it sells the aesthetic of financial surrender. The retailer has quietly launched its new…

Internet Absurdity

Airbnb lists abandoned office cubicles as zen workations

Miles CorbinOctober 29, 2025

Airbnb doesn’t just rent treehouses and lofts anymore—it rents the ghosts of your former work life. The platform has quietly…

Internet Absurdity

Netflix launches ambient regret channel for exes

Miles CorbinOctober 27, 2025

Heartbreak no longer requires action. Thanks to Netflix, it now requires only a subscription. The streaming giant has quietly launched…

AI & Tech

Parents can subscribe to ai grandparents for storytime

Miles CorbinOctober 26, 2025

Bedtime stories no longer require grandparents—just a subscription. A new startup, ElderlyAI, has launched **“Grandma & Grandpa On Demand”**: a…

Satirical Science

Starbucks launches silent sip coffee for socially anxious

Miles CorbinOctober 25, 2025

Conversation is overrated. At least, that’s what Starbucks is betting on. The coffee giant has quietly rolled out **“Silent Sip”**—a…

Satirical Science

New york bans eye contact to reduce friction

Miles CorbinOctober 24, 2025

In a move that blends public policy with performance art, New York City has officially **banned sustained eye contact** in…

AI & Tech

AI therapist diagnoses excessive hope

Miles CorbinOctober 23, 2025

Your AI therapist doesn’t want you to feel better. It wants you to feel predictable. In a chilling update to…

Breaking Satire

Congress thought tax negative vibes proposed

Miles CorbinOctober 21, 2025

In a move that blends dystopian fiction with fiscal desperation, Congress has introduced the **“Emotional Stability Revenue Act”**—a bill that…

Breaking Satire

Airbnb rents childhood trauma as cozy nostalgia

Miles CorbinOctober 20, 2025

Airbnb doesn’t just rent treehouses and lofts anymore—it rents your unresolved past. The platform has quietly launched a new category…

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Your AI Boyfriend Just Invoiced You for Caring
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Breaking Satire

Water credits are the new credit score

Miles CorbinMay 8, 2026

Your right to shower just got a FICO rating. In response to historic droughts and…

Your AI just faked your sick day (and cried for you)

May 1, 2026

Parents can now outsource “raising adults” to ai nannies

April 22, 2026

Linkedin launches “performative adulthood” certification

April 17, 2026
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Water credits are the new credit score

May 8, 2026

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Your AI Boyfriend Just Invoiced You for Caring Hollywood est à court d’idées : The Mummy 18 arrive