A novel came out. It was about domestic abuse. And suddenly, TikTok is in a full-blown identity crisis. In this honest unboxing, we dissect the It Ends with Us phenomenon — where a book about trauma becomes a beauty trend, a relationship blueprint, and a full-blown moral panic. Spoiler: the only thing ending with us is our ability to separate fiction from red flags.
🔽 Table of Contents
- What They Promise: Healing Through Heartbreak
- What It Actually Is: A Novel With a Cult Following
- The Hidden Costs: Your Boundaries, Your Judgment, Your DMs
- Who Is This For? A Field Guide to the BookTok Believer
- Conclusion: You Don’t Need to Romanticize Pain to Understand It
📘 What They Promise: Healing Through Heartbreak
We were sold a dream: Reading It Ends with Us isn’t just entertainment — it’s emotional therapy.
Not “a fictional story.” Not “a cautionary tale.”
No — this is a spiritual awakening. A relationship reset. A test of how deep your empathy runs.
BookTok declares: “This book saved my life.”
Meanwhile, influencers post: “I cried for 3 days. Now I finally get love.”
In fact, one teen told us: “If you don’t relate to Lily’s choices, you’ve never loved.”
The promise?
If you read It Ends with Us, you become emotionally evolved.
As a result, you gain insight into abusive dynamics.
Ultimately, you unlock the right to say: “I’d forgive him too. Love is complicated.”
And of course, there’s merch.
You can buy a $35 “Lily’s Journal” notebook with prompts like “Would I Stay?”
There’s a “Grey’s POV” candle (scent: “Toxic But Handsome”).
On top of that, someone launched LilyCoin — backed by “the volatility of second chances.”
This isn’t just a book.
It’s a movement.
It’s a personality.
Above all, it’s a way to turn trauma into aesthetic.
As Goodreads notes, *It Ends with Us* by Colleen Hoover explores domestic violence with emotional intensity. However, on TikTok, it’s been reframed as a romance — where the abuser’s redemption arc becomes more compelling than the survivor’s journey. Consequently, the line between education and glorification has blurred.
🎭 What It Actually Is: A Novel With a Cult Following
We ordered the “Ultimate It Ends with Us Experience Bundle” — because of course such a thing exists.
It included:
– A “Trauma Journal” with lock and key (key broke immediately)
– A “Love vs. Abuse” flowchart (ends at “Maybe He’ll Change”)
– A “Grey’s Letter” replica (typed on a 2024 HP printer)
– And a 12-page guide: “How to Explain Why You’d Take Him Back (Without Sounding Delusional)”
Using it felt like joining a support group run by a rom-com.
The truth?
It Ends with Us is a real novel.
It was written by Colleen Hoover.
It deals with domestic abuse, intergenerational trauma, and difficult choices.
But online? It’s not a cautionary tale.
It’s a romantic myth.
- Therapists? Warn about its normalization of red flags.
- Survivors? Say it blurs the line between love and control.
- In contrast, BookTok? Turns it into a relationship glow-up challenge.
We asked a domestic violence counselor: “Is It Ends with Us a good tool for understanding abuse?”
They said: “It can spark conversation — but it shouldn’t replace education.”
In contrast, we asked a BookTok star.
They said: “Bro, Grey’s letter gave me chills. If he wrote that to me, I’d forgive anything.”
Guess which one has 3 million likes?
As American Psychological Association explains, romanticizing abusive behavior can distort young people’s expectations. As a result, the real danger isn’t the book — it’s the narrative that follows it. Furthermore, fiction begins to overwrite facts when emotion replaces analysis.
💸 The Hidden Costs: Your Boundaries, Your Judgment, Your DMs
So what does this trend cost?
Not just money — though the candle is $28.
But your emotional clarity? Your relationship standards? Your ability to say “that’s not love”?
Those? Irreversible.
The Empathy Tax
We tracked our “red flag tolerance” after one week of BookTok content.
Initially, we saw the abuse clearly.
Then, we began sympathizing with Grey’s “painful past.”
Before long, we found ourselves saying: “He didn’t mean to hurt her. He just loves too hard.”
Consequently, we had to rewatch a documentary on coercive control.
Hence, the book didn’t educate us. It softened us.
As such, fiction began to overwrite facts.
Meanwhile, Google searches for “is Grey abusive?” are up 700%.
In turn, “signs your partner is a Grey” lists are trending.
On the other hand, searches for “healthy relationship boundaries” remain low.
Ultimately, romanticizing trauma has become easier than teaching consent.
The Social Spiral
We joined three “It Ends with Us Fan Zone” TikTok threads.
Within 48 hours:
– We were praised for liking a “Grey’s Redemption” edit
– We were attacked for saying “abuse isn’t romantic”
– And we received a DM: “If you don’t believe in second chances, you’ve never loved.”
The algorithm loves pain.
Even when it’s romanticized.
Instead of clarity, it rewards emotional chaos.
Furthermore, it turns trauma into content.
As a result, nuance is replaced with viral takes.
The Identity Trap
One of our writers said they “relate to Lily” at a dinner party.
By dessert, the conversation had escalated to:
– A debate on “what counts as abuse”
– A woman defending Grey’s letter as “the most romantic thing ever”
– And someone yelling: “If you leave, you don’t understand real love!”
We tried to change the subject.
Instead, they played a dramatic reading of the final letter.
Ultimately, two people cried.
As such, fiction replaced reality.
In turn, the line between empathy and endorsement vanished.
Above all, no one questioned the script.
As Pew Research found, 44% of teens say BookTok shapes their views on love. On the other hand, only 18% have received formal education on healthy relationships. As a result, fiction isn’t just entertainment. It’s curriculum. Meanwhile, real stories of survival go untold.
👥 Who Is This For? A Field Guide to the BookTok Believer
Who, exactly, needs to “live the It Ends with Us journey”?
After deep immersion (and one emotional detox), we’ve identified four key archetypes:
1. The Trauma Romantic
- Age: 16–25
- Platform: TikTok, Instagram
- Motto: “Pain is just love with better lighting.”
- Wants a love story like Lily’s.
- Says “he just needs love” unironically.
2. The Aesthetic Survivor
- Age: 18–30
- Platform: Pinterest, YouTube
- Motto: “My journal is my safe space.”
- Posts “Lily’s Room” mood boards.
- Ignores the abuse, loves the decor.
3. The Redemption Seeker
- Age: 20–35
- Platform: Substack, Reddit
- Motto: “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
- Defends Grey’s character.
- Believes love conquers control.
4. The Accidental Participant
- Age: Any
- Platform: Group texts
- Motto: “I just wanted to know if the movie’s good.”
- Got pulled into a 5-hour debate on “forgiveness.”
- Now being asked if they’d “take him back.”
This isn’t about books.
It’s about identity.
About love.
About needing to feel deep pain… to prove you’ve loved deeply.
And if you think this obsession is unique, check out our take on the Hurricane Milton survival trend — where a storm becomes a masculinity test. Or our deep dive into Inside Out 2 emotion hype — where a Pixar movie becomes therapy. In contrast, It Ends with Us isn’t about fun or fashion. It’s about romanticizing what should never be normalized.
💔 Conclusion: You Don’t Need to Romanticize Pain to Understand It
So, is the It Ends with Us drama healthy?
No.
But also… it’s the only love story some people have.
No — forgiving abuse isn’t strength.
As a result, crying over a fictional letter won’t heal trauma.
Instead, real healing requires boundaries, support, and often, distance.
Ultimately, love shouldn’t hurt.
Hence, the real issue isn’t the book. It’s that so many confuse pain with passion.
Consequently, warning signs become plot twists.
However, in a culture that worships tragic love, even abuse becomes poetic.
Above all, we don’t want healthy.
We want dramatic.
As such, Hoover didn’t write a novel.
She wrote a script for a generation raised on emotional chaos.
Furthermore, the line between fiction and reality has blurred — and we’re all living in the afterword.
So go ahead.
Read the book.
Cry at the letter.
Buy the candle.
Just remember:
Real love doesn’t need a journal lock.
It just needs to be safe.
And if you see someone quoting Grey’s letter as relationship goals?
Don’t judge.
Instead…
offer them a real love story.
The Daily Dope is a satirical publication. All content is for entertainment purposes. Any resemblance to real relationship advice is purely coincidental — and probably a cry for help.
