By The Daily Dope | Category: Tech & Satire | Read Time: 6 minutes (or one dramatic tweet thread)
He filed the suit. He called it “justice.” And then… the internet laughed. In this honest unboxing, we dissect the musk sues apple, openai, antitrust lawsuit moment — where Elon Musk, owner of one of the most vertically integrated tech empires on Earth, sues Apple and OpenAI for being too closed, and the only thing more ironic than the claim is the man making it. Spoiler: “competition” means “unless I’m winning.”
🔽 Table of Contents
- What They Promise: Openness, Innovation, and Digital Freedom
- What It Actually Is: A Billionaire’s Crusade Against Closed Systems (That He Also Uses)
- The Top Ironies: A Painful Countdown
- The Hidden Costs: Your Data, Your Trust, Your Belief in Fair Play
- Who Is This For? A Field Guide to the Tech-Irony Confused
- Conclusion: You Can’t Monopolize Openness
🔓 What They Promise: Openness, Innovation, and Digital Freedom
We were sold a dream: AI should be open, accessible, and free from corporate control — a tool for all, not just the tech giants.
Not “a power grab.” Not “a branding move.”
No — this is digital liberation. A fight for the little guy. A chance to prove that Elon Musk really does care about fairness (as long as he controls the platform).
Musk declares: “AI must be open. Competition is a human right.”
Meanwhile, press releases say: “Closed ecosystems stifle innovation.”
And one lawyer told us: “If this were anyone else, it’d be a strong antitrust case. But it’s Musk. So… vibes matter.”
The promise?
If you believe in the musk sues apple, openai, antitrust lawsuit crusade, you believe in fairness.
As a result, you feel hopeful.
Ultimately, you unlock the right to say: “Maybe this time, he’s actually right.”
And of course, there’s merch.
You can buy a T-shirt that says: “I Survived the Great AI Freedom Lawsuit of 2024” — available in “Open Source Gray.”
There’s a “Digital Freedom Kit” (includes a USB drive labeled “Not Backed Up,” a printed QR code, and irony gum).
On top of that, someone launched OpenCoin — backed by “the volatility of access.”
This isn’t just a lawsuit.
It’s a manifesto.
It’s a brand move.
Above all, it’s a way to turn antitrust law into a full-blown personal grudge with better PR.
As Reuters reports, Elon Musk has filed an antitrust lawsuit against Apple and OpenAI, accusing them of creating a “closed AI ecosystem.” While the claims raise valid questions, Musk’s own companies face similar criticisms. As a result, the real issue isn’t openness. It’s consistency.
⚖️ What It Actually Is: A Billionaire’s Crusade Against Closed Systems (That He Also Uses)
We reviewed 87 pages of legal filings, 3 Tesla owner manuals, and one very confused AI ethicist — because someone had to.
The truth?
Musk wants open AI — as long as he’s in charge.
His own companies?
– Tesla: closed software, proprietary chips, no third-party repairs.
– SpaceX: ultra-secretive, government-contracted, no public access.
– X (formerly Twitter): banned third-party apps, restricted API access.
But OpenAI? “Too closed.”
- One claim: Musk says Apple “walls off” AI from developers. Also, Apple does this with everything. Including chargers.
- Another: He argues OpenAI betrayed its mission. Also, he left OpenAI in 2018. And now wants to sue it.
- And a classic: A supporter said: “He’s fighting for openness!” Skeptic: “He won’t even let you fix your own car.”
We asked a tech ethicist: “Is Musk’s lawsuit hypocritical?”
They said: “Objectively? Yes. But in the attention economy, moral consistency is just another closed system.”
In contrast, we asked a Musk fan.
They said: “Bro, if he says it’s about freedom, it’s about freedom. Also, Apple did block his AI app.”
Guess which one got 500K likes?
As The New York Times notes, while Musk raises legitimate concerns about AI monopolies, his own business practices complicate the narrative. As a result, the real battle isn’t legal. It’s reputational.
🔥 The Top Ironies: A Painful Countdown
After deep immersion (and one crisis about integrity), we present the **Top 5 Most “Heroic” Moments of Elon Musk Fighting for Openness (While Running Closed Systems)**:
- #5: “The Open AI Crusade”
Musk sues OpenAI for being closed. Also founded it. Also left it. Also suing it now. Timeline: chaotic. - #4: “The Right to Repair Rebellion”
He supports it… except for Tesla. Where repairs cost $7,000 and require factory approval. - #3: “The App Store Outrage”
He says Apple blocks innovation. Also, X banned third-party clients. And fired the dev who made them. - #2: “The Data Freedom Fight”
He demands open data access. Also, Tesla cars collect data but won’t share it — even with owners. - #1: “Competition Is a Human Right!”
His exact quote. Also, SpaceX has 70% of the launch market. No comment.
These moments weren’t just ironic.
They were epically self-contradictory.
But here’s the twist:
They were also politically useful.
Because in the age of outrage, being inconsistent is just another form of power.
💸 The Hidden Costs: Your Data, Your Trust, Your Belief in Fair Play
So what does this lawsuit cost?
Not just legal fees (obviously).
But your trust in tech leaders? Your belief in open innovation? Your hope that someone, somewhere, cares about fairness?
Those? Destroyed.
The Hypocrisy Tax
We tracked one tech idealist’s faith over 72 hours.
At first, they were inspired.
Then, they read Musk’s lawsuit.
Before long, they Googled: “Can you sue for openness while being closed?”
Consequently, they found Tesla’s repair policies.
Hence, they whispered: “He’s not a hero. He’s a brand.”
As such, they started a thread: “Musk’s Openness Scorecard.”
Furthermore, their therapist said: “You’re not disillusioned. You’re finally paying attention.”
Ultimately, they switched to Firefox.
As a result, it didn’t fix anything.
Accordingly, they still use an iPhone.
Meanwhile, Google searches for “is Elon Musk a hypocrite?” are up 1,100%.
In turn, “Musk vs Apple” TikTok videos have 6.8 billion views.
On the other hand, searches for “what is antitrust law?” remain low.
The Identity Trap
One of our writers said: “Maybe he’s trying to change” at a dinner party.
By dessert, the conversation had escalated to:
– A debate on “when idealism becomes branding”
– A man claiming Musk is “the Robin Hood of AI”
– And someone yelling: “If he says it’s open, it’s open!”
We tried to change the subject.
Instead, they played a 10-minute audio of a robot saying “open” repeatedly.
Ultimately, the night ended with a group chant: “Competition is a human right!”
As such, three people filed fake lawsuits.
In contrast, the host started a “Tech Justice” podcast the next day.
Hence, cognitive dissonance had gone full mission.
As CNN reports, while the lawsuit raises important questions, Musk’s credibility is under scrutiny. As a result, the real cost isn’t the case. It’s trust.
👥 Who Is This For? A Field Guide to the Tech-Irony Confused
Who, exactly, needs to believe in the musk sues apple, openai, antitrust lawsuit narrative?
After field research (and one API meltdown), we’ve identified four key archetypes:
1. The Idealist Believer
- Age: 20–40
- Platform: Tech forums, Substack
- Motto: “He’s flawed, but he’s fighting for us.”
- Wants open tech.
- Also wants a hero.
2. The Vibes Supporter
- Age: 18–35
- Platform: X, TikTok
- Motto: “I feel the openness.”
- Can’t explain the lawsuit.
- Still supports it.
3. The Trauma Skeptic
- Age: 30–60
- Platform: History, memory
- Motto: “I’ve seen this movie. The hero becomes the villain.”
- Fears consolidation.
- Also fears fanboys.
4. The Accidental Participant
- Age: Any
- Platform: Group texts
- Motto: “I just wanted to know why Musk is suing Apple.”
- Asked one question.
- Now in 8 “tech ethics” groups.
This isn’t about AI.
It’s about power.
About narrative.
About needing to believe that a billionaire fighting monopolies is a hero — even when he runs one.
And if you think this obsession is unique, check out our take on National Guard in DC — where safety is a performance. Or our deep dive into Trump firing the Fed — where policy is a feeling. In contrast, the Musk lawsuit isn’t about openness. It’s about who gets to control the future — and how pretty the branding is.
🔓 Conclusion: You Can’t Monopolize Openness
So, is the musk sues apple, openai, antitrust lawsuit fight for competition valid?
Partly.
But also… it’s undermined by the messenger.
Yes — closed AI ecosystems are a real concern.
As a result, Apple and OpenAI should be scrutinized.
Instead, real openness means letting others compete — not just suing them while doing the same.
Ultimately, the most powerful thing Musk could do?
Is open his own systems.
Hence, the real issue isn’t the lawsuit.
It’s the hypocrisy.
Consequently, the next time a billionaire claims to fight monopolies?
Therefore, don’t cheer.
Thus, don’t retweet.
Furthermore, ask: “What’s closed in your world?”
Accordingly, demand consistency.
Moreover, stop worshipping disruptors who never disrupt themselves.
However, in a culture that worships heroes over systems, even monopolists can play rebels.
Above all, we don’t want fairness.
We want drama.
As such, the lawsuits will continue.
Moreover, the ironies will grow.
Ultimately, the only real solution?
Build open systems.
Honor competition.
And maybe… just stop trusting billionaires with savior complexes.
So go ahead.
Believe.
Fight.
Sue.
Just remember:
Openness isn’t a slogan.
And a human right shouldn’t depend on one man’s mood.
And if you see Musk tweeting about “freedom” while blocking your repair shop?
Don’t judge.
Instead…
ask: “Whose openness are we talking about?”
The Daily Dope is a satirical publication. All content is for entertainment purposes. Any resemblance to real tech policy is purely coincidental — and probably why we need a new browser.
